Hold On To Your Wine Glass!

I hope you're sitting down for this one. A new study into the Byzantine workings of the primitive ladybrain has determined that women make their wine choices based not on fashion or diet concerns, but by basically the same criteria men use: Does it taste good?

Shocking? It was to researchers who conducted the first-ever study of women's attitude toward wine in the UK, who professed "surprise" and "interest" at the finding that women buy wine based on how it tastes and whether it goes well with food, as opposed to how well it works as a fashion accessory and whether it will help them shed pounds. Also shocking to researchers: The fact that women tend to bristle at wine ads aimed specifically at them (e.g., those b.s. "girlfriends" wine ads aimed at professional women who supposedly spend their time together knitting, giggling, and scrapbooking--all over glasses of shitty Mondavi or Gallo whites), and the fact that women actually prefer red wine despite the fact that white wine is marketed as "lite."

Robert Beynat, chief executive of Vinexpo, which conducted the survey, "was particularly pleased with the response of 79% of women who said they drink wine because they like the taste – as opposed to its compatibility with food or fashion status, calling it 'extraordinary'."

God, the next thing you know, women will be buying food because it tastes good. Try to contain your astonishment.